His is the Victory!

Yesterday was a rough day for me. My emotions were all over the place and I felt like Satan was attacking me in my weakest areas. I asked some friends to pray for me, and I know they did, and I even got a chance to sit down, talk through things and pray with a mentor of mine, but even at end of the day I felt like I was still in the battle. It's amazing to me how some days I can pray, and I feel almost instant spiritual relief through the peace or joy of Christ. But then there are days like yesterday when I pray and I still feel under attack.

What I realized today, however, is no matter what the outcome of prayer, it is still a privilege to come before The Great I Am. It also occurred to me that while I was not delivered from the battle, God's strength was sufficient to hold me through it. Today, when I awoke, my mind was different, and I did not feel the spiritual fog that I was trudging through yesterday. The lethargy, the emotional roller-coaster, and the obsessive thoughts were gone. It did not take me long to know that the battle had been won while I was asleep.

What an amazingly releasing feeling - to know that I can give my cares, battles, fears, and emotional mess to an amazing God who fights on my behalf and can win without any help from me. I just have to trust He will act. There is a verse I love in Psalms: "In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You alone, O Lord, make me to dwell in safety." (4:8)

Another verse is "the fear of the Lord leads to life, that one may sleep satisfied, untouched by evil." (Proverbs 19:23)

We can fall asleep in complete peace and safety because our God is stronger than our adversary. What a glorious thought! And to know my Father fights for me and wants only what is best for me. It is humbling...

So often I think I know what is best for my life, or I try to explain to myself why something would be in God's best interest to let me have - what arrogance! To assume I know what will bring God the most glory? Maybe those battles that I have to persevere in are allowed to continue so that I will more fully fear God and His majesty. Maybe in the midst of it all my trust is being deepened and His love is being poured out more fully.

 I no longer want to pray only for relief from spiritual battle, but for sufficient strength to allow God to fight for me instead of trying to win in my own logic and understanding. I am sure there will be many more battles where this desire will be put to the test....