Is it Safe to Fall yet?

So... I'm a girl - duh right? - and there are things I desire in my life. One such thing is a relationship with some amazing guy who will sweep me off my feet and treat me like a princess.

It's easy being on a Christian campus to daily see such great guys - who are usually already "taken" unfortunately - and it is equally easy to find myself having crushes on some of them. Nothing serious, but I enjoy being around them, and I thank God for those friendships with God-seeking men.

I could easily see myself falling head over heals for some guy who started to pursue me. It would not be hard to be completely flattered and honored, and knowing my passionate self I know that the flattered-ness would soon turn into serious attraction and possibly (dare I use the word) love.

Yes, I want to fall in love. I want to be comfortable enough to say "I love you" and to be myself around some guy. I want to find the perfect guy for me.

I am not naive enough to think there are perfect guys out there (as there are no perfect girls either). I know I need to be willing to accept someone despite their mistakes and imperfections. But I also know I need to have standards.

The question is: how high should my standards be? When is it safe for me to fall in love with the RIGHT guy? How will I know, when I meet him?

I remember quite a few years ago making a list of all the things I wanted in a husband. Things like handsome, having similar passions as me, strong were obviously on the list. And those are still important. But...

as I begin to fall for this one particular guy some of those things start to lose importance. Not that he isn't handsome or strong, but our passions lie in different places. My biggest concern is where he is in his relationship with God. I can overlook almost everything else as long as I know he is seeking God with all his heart.

In two weeks I will be walking away from this campus for good. I will be receiving a diploma and stepping out into the "real world". There are a million changes happening as I take this next step. I am still not sure where I will be a year from now, much less a month from now.

Is now a good time to start a relationship?
Do I want a long-distance relationship?
Are we even heading in that direction?

We hang out and I enjoy spending time with him, and it appears as though he wants to spend time with me and get to know me. But does he want a serious relationship? Does he just want a friendship? I honestly don't know yet.

I am bound and determined to take this whole thing one step at a time. I also refuse to take control and start that conversation with him. If he wants a deeper, dating, relationship with me, he has to ask. I want him to take the lead and take the risk. I am willing to accept...

At least I think I am...

Do I just want a relationship in general - who I am with doesn't matter?
Do I want to be in a relationship with him in particular?
Why do I feel so comfortable around him?
Is God opening doors and giving permission/encouragement?
Is Satan trying to hold me back from God's will by dangling a carrot in front of me?


Is it right for me to fall yet?